Author : Irakli Laitadze
When I hear—a successful person—I feel a slight sense of incomprehension. And as I often come across such a description, I decided to understand what is behind this feeling.
Where it is said—a successful person—it is also implied that there are others, unsuccessful ones. Social Darwinism is unacceptable to me. So, I do not think it is right to categorize people in this way. Very often this label is burdensome for the “unsuccessful” and toxic for the “successful”.
What is success? According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, success means the achievement of a favorable or desired result, as well as the attainment of wealth, favor, and/or public fame. It is with these two definitions that the difference begins. Let’s discuss them: Let’s say a person is a philatelist and buys/is given a rare stamp which he is happy to add to his collection. This stamp has value only to him and a few other philatelists. According to the first definition of success, our philatelist is successful because he has acquired the desired stamp. According to the second explanation, he is unsuccessful because he hasn’t been able to make money or gain fame.
What do you think, is the latter conclusion wrong or not? In my opinion, it is wrong, it is flawed. Nevertheless, when we define success, we are guided precisely by the criterion (criteria) of money, status and/or public recognition. The media and social networks often present to us “successful” people and their melodramas about how they started a business with $1,000 of borrowed money, or how they fell and rose like a phoenix from the ashes. At the same time, mainstream media and social networks almost always reflect the dominant views and opinions of society. Countless live and online courses claim to teach the secrets of success, and their sheer existence—along with the demand for them—further confirming society’s obsession with achievement.
As social beings, we do not live in isolation like Robinson Crusoe. Resisting the prevailing cult of success is difficult, and most of us inevitably find ourselves caught in an endless, exhausting marathon for progress and wealth. By joining this race, we all but ensure that we will be running in circles like a squirrel in a wheel for the rest of our lives.
Additionally, people begin comparing themselves to others. Since social media and television only highlight the best aspects of our professional, personal, and entertainment lives—often enhanced or embellished—those who compare themselves are left in a constant state of dissatisfaction. There will always be someone cooler, stronger, more beautiful, or wealthier. A separate issue arises when individuals actively seek attention through social networks or mass media (excluding those whose profession involves working in media, such as journalists or show hosts) and systematically strive to remain in the spotlight.
Some openly showcase and promote themselves, while others do so more subtly, under the guise of a noble cause. The relentless craving for praise and external validation of one’s actions is, at its core, a manifestation of an inferiority complex. If I am genuinely happy collecting postage stamps, then in the face of such emotional fulfillment, symbols of success—such as an expensive car or a luxury watch—or even associations with such successful people (often one-sided relationships) become largely insignificant. At such times, it does not even matter whether our philatelist is known only to his neighbors or is hounded by reporters. The relentless pursuit of so-called success and constant comparison with others consumes an enormous amount of energy and fuels exhausting emotions such as envy, anger and sadness. These emotions become chronic and have a direct impact on our mental well-being. But even for those who have achieved success, the race is not over—they are always craving for more, be it money, status or recognition. Moreover, society often takes this obsession with success to an absurd level: If someone is a successful businessman and a millionaire, then why isn’t he a multimillionaire or billionaire? If he’s a talented writer, why hasn’t he won the Saba award? And if he has, then why not the Booker Prize? He’s a brilliant physicist? Then why doesn’t he have the Wolf Prize? The list goes on, endlessly and pointlessly. Pointless because the Nobel Prize in Literature was never awarded to Franz Kafka, James Joyce, Federico García Lorca, Leo Tolstoy, Jorge Luis Borges, Marcel Proust, George Orwell, or Ryūnosuke Akutagawa. Can we say that they or their books lacked something because they didn’t receive the Nobel Prize? No, they lacked nothing.
Labelling someone as a failure—directly or indirectly—can psychologically break our already burdened “unsuccessful” friends, acquaintances or even strangers. Meanwhile, success measured solely by our own standards can sometimes seem grotesque. Fundamentally, we are all the same. What I have told you is just my opinion. Als ich kan, as Pieter Bruegel the Elder would say.
